Hop Aboard

First, I’m not really a rabbit. I mean, I’m not crazy. As much as I would love to be cute and fluffy, I’m really just mildly attractive and a bit overweight. As much as I like carrots, I prefer celery. Regardless, I know I’m not an actual rabbit; I will often tweet like I think a rabbit would if a rabbit could.

Rabbits can be cute, but they can also be memes. I’ll steal your memes, but I won’t call them my own. I will, however, misappropriate your images and turn them into memes when the mood strikes me. I never ask for permission, but I will apologize if I’m caught. For example, this meme is my own from an image that is not.

I don’t hate Donald Trump. I do, however, dislike the man so much it often feels like hatred. I’m true blue resistance, an unapologetic bluewave democrat and liberal progressive. Most bunnies are.

If you see a tweet, try to respond, and find it deleted, that usually means I spotted another fucking typo in something I just barely tweeted. Look for a correction almost immediately. Hare today, gone tomorrow.

I intend my tweets to be sarcastic, snarky, even humorous when I can manage. I don’t mind being called a “libtard” or a “snowflake”, but I have almost no fucking clue what “antifa” even means.

Sometimes I will swear. Usually for humorous effect. Possibly because I’m really angry at someone or about something. But I won’t call you names unless you’re just a horrible person. In which case, you’re an asshole and you probably deserve it.

I also like boobies and I’m not afraid to say so. I am an equal opportunity breast enthusiast. I have to mention that here because I’ve noticed it come up in my tweets on occasion. I should feel guilty about that, but I kinda don’t.

I’ve never once said “that dog don’t hunt”. I will say “that bunny don’t hop” whenever it feels appropriate. Every bunny thinks they’re a comedian. I’ve waiting for a good time to say that, but this will have to do.

I don’t post opinions as facts or vice versa. I also know what vice versa means. I research and factcheck news items and always hunt out credible, mostly unbiased sources when available. Except if it comes from Rachel Maddow. I love Rachel. I want to have her babies. I bet she has great boobies*.

If I do or say anything you find offensive**, please feel free to be offended. I know I am.

*Rachel Maddow is a brilliant, incredible woman and a highly accomplished journalist. I find intelligence to be very sexy. However, she’s gay and I’m not, so it will never work out between us. I hope Rachel reads this some day and won’t mind me mentioning her boobies.  Comedians (of which, I am not one) refer to this as a “callback”.

**See any above reference to “boobies”.

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